RECEIVING LOVE

You need to give respect to get respect…how do we show others we are worthy of respect and where does it begin?

Too many times parents make children wrong by being who they are. Instead of seeing actions and behaviors as age appropriate or maybe they just forgot, a parent will take it on as either disrespectful or an act of defiance. Maybe a parent is consumed in just trying to manage life in general and they miss the subtle signals their child gives. Maybe the child is processing information in a different way and the parent doesn’t understand that there is a different way of doing, a different way of being. Maybe…

I know my parenting skills lacked in many ways but my hope was that I could help nurture my children’s natural talents. My hope in creating a family was to change the way I was raised…feeling so isolated and alone, unsupported, unwanted, having no value even though deep inside I knew there was something special inside of me, I didn’t feel like I belonged. Today I know it’s a normal feeling for a Highly Sensitive Personality.

I didn’t comprehend the quest to become popular, I didn’t understand the competition, I didn’t excel in academics yet I felt smarter than my honor roll friends. My focus was usually on the deeper meanings of life…most of the things that weren’t taught in school, my best classroom memories were spent gazing out the window dreaming of a better place.

Still trying to figure out if this is a curse or a gift…my brain goes into all the aspects of the “what ifs”. What if I was taught a different way? What if my parents placed a value on me? What if my parents placed a different value on themselves? What if the education system focused more on my natural talents rather than trying to teach me to become a bean counter to fit in a box? WHAT IF life was different? My heart becomes heavy because I realize that those are probably some of the same questions my children have asked themselves about the way they were raised.

So many times over the past few years I’ve wondered if my children would be further ahead or more secure if I raised them alone. If I knew who I was maybe I would have picked a more nurturing father for my kids…there is no way I can change the past, but how can I change the future? I look around and see it isn’t just my family, it’s epidemic, just another part of this broken system…does anyone else see? Am I the irrational one? The only one that thinks too much? The only one that cares too much?

Today my desire is to change the world but I realize I can only change myself. The only change I can make is within me and I keep reminding myself that we are all children of God and deep inside every child’s heart is a prayer asking for unconditional LOVE, the LOVE that tells us we are safe, the LOVE that protects us, the LOVE that nurtures our souls and helps us grow…today I need to keep reminding myself that I need to give LOVE to receive LOVE…