I’ve read your letter over and over again. Did I really scare you? If I did, I am soo GRATEFUL. I’ve been searching for my strengths in being so vulnerable. Not just that I am small and noncompetitive, I’m on a constant watch of everything around, sometimes I forget the little details and this world makes no sense to me.
I have a lot of trust issues and have felt violated on many levels over the past 55 years. Sometimes it’s easier to be wronged than to feel the frustration from another. I often wonder if it is nature or nurture. It really doesn’t matter because I really like me, I LOVE the human I’ve become even though I feel like such a child at times.
I broke under the pressure of feeling the pain and suffering of everyone around me, I know that’s why I had to retreat for a while. I left behind all I knew about the person I was and who I thought I needed to be to become me and now I’m writing another script. There are many days I wish I could stay inside here forever and never come out. I have a lot of fear standing up alone, sometimes I cry because I just want someone to hold my hand as I cross the street. It never worked for me before and I know it’s because I never knew who I was. Just knowing I am a sponge to the emotions around me has given me some strength. Then you write that letter telling me that my words have taken a big, strong stallion like yourself to his knees makes me feel a little more empowered and I want to know everything about you.
Can I write you in my book? You want to be a part of my fantasy? I see your character as a Warrior, a tall stallion ready for battle. Along comes a little hummingbird, she pierces his heart and injects it with a pink…hmmm thought of somekind… and slowly all the hurt and pain that he has held on to for so long oozes out of his chest exposing his golden heart…yadda, yadda, yadda…even though they are a world apart they become lifelong companions, a real Mutt & Jeff team. Together they empower others to open their hearts and everyone lives happily everafter…This or something better. Of course we will need many more characters to this story. This could be the beginning of something HUGE and it could be a lot of FUN. Waddaya say? What is your story?
Today I am GRATEFUL. I believe Mutt showed up at the right time…