Today is the day!!!
I’m waiting at the airport in Charlotte, taking the big leap I’ve been waiting for the past couple years. I haven’t been too excited…I guess I don’t allow myself to get overly excited over anything…maybe it’s from so many years feeling like I had to settle for less than I thought I deserved. Now I only have myself to answer to. Although there have been many times the past couple of years I wanted someone to make a decision for me, I know it’s been a good thing that everyone has given me the space to make my own decisions and not even suggested what I should be doing.
On the way to the airport my Mom called. She started off by telling me how sorry she was…evidently when we were in Mexico I was having a bad day and she said she felt bad because she didn’t hug or comfort me as I was having a break down. Funny thing is I don’t remember it, but then that is how it has always been with her and my father too. She also told me she was proud of me for doing well in school…I remember giving up trying in school because I was never recognized for anything. How strange that this happened today…just as I decided to be 18 again, maybe these are the things an 18 year old girl needed to hear. My mother telling me this is a HUGE issue, a HUGE deal. Since hanging up my throat has felt constricted, I keep touching my neck expecting to pull my shirt away from my throat. Something has shifted, something has changed…
Yesterday I talked to my ex MIL and she got very emotional as she thanked me for the help I was while I stayed with her. I’m GRATEFUL to know there is something I could pass on to her. I’ve learned a lot these past couple years in my cocoon and hope to keep passing the knowledge on. My desire is to continue seeing positive changes in the people surrounding me…
My grandkids are expecting me to post a video each week…the thought of trying to see England through their eyes is actually exciting. I hope I can keep them entertained.
Today I have so much to be GRATEFUL for. Even at the airport, this is my 3rd trip in the past week and a half and each time I was TSA Approved. I kept my shoes on, no pulling liquids out of my luggage, no searches, no irradiating x rays…what I make up about it is that the universe is APPROVING ME…How does ife get any better than this?
Dear Doctor J,
I appreciate your kind words. All I was looking for was a friend and wasn’t expecting someone like you to show up in my life… I’m only 18 and still need to figure out what I will do when I grow up.
I’m happy we can be friends and right now feel like I will always wish it could be more…You know almost everything about me…even the crazy parts that no one else in my real world knows, there is still so much about you I don’t know.
Love and miss you