What other shadow aspects of being sensitive might be found in HSPs? Remember, whatever I mention may not be an issue for you at all. These are just possibilities, given how we are. One that comes to mind is giving in too easily. Or being easily defeated. Accepting a position beneath our worth. Being obsequious, submissive, subservient. Weak. Not physically, but socially. We may call our giving in a matter of just being nice or showing our empathy, or we may say we don’t care or it isn’t worth the hassle to get our way, but this feeling inferior keeps us from speaking our mind or being treated fairly. We don’t take up space, so to speak. Our boundaries are whatever the other’s boundaries are–for example, we might habitually talk on the phone until the other person wants to hang up, even if we wanted to end it an hour ago.~Elaine E Aron, PhD
Today I’m relocating. I’ve decided to adopt my current “couch”, I hope my daughter doesn’t get jealous. This morning on her way out she gave me a gift she made…she put a lot of thought into the charms…
There is a strand of Aventurine –aligns conditions so “opportunity” is inevitable. Green Aventurine releases old patterns, habits and disappointments so new growth can take place. It brings optimism and a zest for life, allowing one to move forward with confidence and to embrace change. It enhances one’s creativity and motivation, and encourages perseverance in maneuvering life’s obstacles. It also reinforces one’s decisiveness and amplifies leadership qualities, injecting a sense of humor and openness to the ideas of others.
A strand of Purple amethyst – reputed to control evil thoughts, increase intelligence and render men shrewd in business matters. For travelers it was worn as a protection from treachery and surprise attacks, kept soldiers from harm and gave them victory over their enemies. Like other royal stones it protected its wearer from disease and contagion.
It also has a bell so that I’m noticed and heard, a bird to symbolize my journey and two hearts with the world Love on them…as she left she called me Mum, she will be a forever friend. We have a lot in common.
This past week we spent a lot of time talking about our similarities, hopes, dreams and relationships with others. She’s never heard about HSP and agrees this is her also. We talked a lot about our past relationships, the parallels in how controlled we became and what we are looking for in respects to a future partner that we know is out there somewhere…and here I am again thinking about HIM…
Dear Doctor J,
Remember our first date? The eight-hour lunch? What sticks in my mind the most is when we were sitting at the table under the tree for what seemed like hours…as the sun moved you would move into the shade and made suggestions where I should sit to also be out of the sun…this might sound like a little thing, but I do tend to forget about my own comfort at times and I never remember anyone thinking about my comfort level like that before.
After you left I remember feeling a little empty, you seemed so amazing and thought that maybe I gave you the wrong message, maybe I appeared aloof, uninterested…maybe I over process practically every interaction. Maybe I’m over cautious in who I invite into my life now, maybe I’m afraid of being too intense, maybe I’m afraid of being consumed in someone else that doesn’t think about me….
Sometimes I think that people need a break from my intensity as much as I need a break from them…I know I hold back a lot for fear of becoming overwhelming.
You tell me about your past relationships and I can’t understand…it feels unappreciated and undervalued…so far this is not the man presenting himself to me…have you grown that much after your break ups or is it that you chose women that didn’t see how amazing you are? Of course maybe I’m getting the wrong vibe…these are things I’m still trying to sort out not just with you but life in general, I’m still learning to trust my own intuition.
I keep trying to let go of this because I’m still not sure about ME…there is so much we don’t know about each other, I want to know everything about you and feel that maybe it’s all one-sided at times. Then another part still hasn’t seen the parts of you I would have to “tolerate” and as AMAZING as I BELIEVE I AM, I’m sure there are many parts of me a partner would have to be willing to “tolerate” also…there is such an intense feeling I get when I think about you and I’m not sure what it means or where it’s going…I just feel like we should give it a go and see if there is a possibility…but then I could be wrong, the intensity I feel could be all one way…
I do LOVE, RESPECT and ADMIRE YOU,
When I say I love you it’s not because I want you or because I can’t have you. It’s because I have let you in, which I don’t do often. I love what you are, what you do, how you try, how you inspire…It really has nothing to do with me. It’s because I’ve seen your kindness and strength. I understand with clarity who and what you are and I LOVE what I see.~Tami Roman