DIVERSIONS

How do I get this vision out of my head? There is still something I need to heal…I’m starting to realize that almost every relationship in the past feels like I’ve been a dumping ground and from what I’ve been reading from other HSPs in the Face Book group, I know it’s not just about me. Now there are many that are just discovering who they are and most still feel like victims. In my life there have been a handful of relationships that felt like a real give and take, even though they have no interest in what I AM doing now. That’s okay, I just don’t resonate with them anymore, our goals for life are different. What energy, space and consciousness will it take to create another story today?

On behalf of everyone like me on this planet I AM accepting this grand prize you have given ME and my fellow BEings, you are WELCOME. WE ARE HAPPY that you chose US to be your dumping ground…the portals for all your shame. In light of a new consciousness we would like to tell you that WE will no longer be serving you. WE are taking back OUR POWER and RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, WE are now reflecting it back to you. WE will no longer be responsible for your blame, shame, fear or whatever game it is you’re playing, it’s not working for US anymore and WE are joining forces to start living on the planet WE signed up for. You know, the one that promotes PEACE, LOVE, RESPECT and COMPASSION

Or am I the only one? How can I feel like I’m speaking for a collective when I  don’t really know that there are others that feel as passionate as I do about living in our own power? How would that look like? I’ve never experienced it before. Has it ever been done? What a WONDERFUL WORLD I would live in if I felt free to enough to BE my vulnerable self, a silly little girl, the child I was never allowed to be…and now I feel childlike to be so trusting to think everyone wants to live as a collective, to think everyone wants to heal, to think everyone wants to work towards the greater good…

I ran from the master baiter today…at least I got four hours of work in before he showed up. I watered the garden, dug wells around the trees and weeded…just like I wanted to. As I worked I tried to release the stories of every time I felt like a dumping ground and the stories around feeling so vulnerable in this world I don’t comprehend but they kept running on and on. Then he showed up, we made small talk and I told him I was going to take a break so I left and now I’m in my room, hiding…why should I be feeling this shame? Why am I the one that is so afraid of hurting another’s feelings? He has absolutely no regards for mine.

I’m trying to find a diversion, how can I live the life of my dreams if I still have this wound? How do I release this wound if I don’t have the strength to confront him? I’m 56 years old, you would think this is something I’ve learned by now…What energy, space and consciousness will it take to change this story today…within the hour…this very second…RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW?

Maybe RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW I needed to share this story with the World Wide Web…hit “publish” and it’s gone….

as I asked for your help, you returned a mendacity

as you now fly your way, I leave this city

as you pick your supply, I count my blessings

as you feel no remorse, I bless my testings

flutter your wings, soar higher than before, because darling you don’t know when you’re going to burst into flames

~Roman Malet https://archaiclocution.wordpress.com/2014/12/28/phoenix/

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