Tired of trying to cram her sparkly star-shaped self into society’s beige square holes, she chose to embrace her ridiculous awesomeness and shine like the freaking supernova she was meant to be ~Word Porn

I AM so READY to start living outside of my head and many times it still feels safer here…Maybe if my thoughts didn’t feel so abstract and I knew how to articulate my vision…

Does anyone really REALIZE the challenge it is for HUMANS like ME to feel SAFE as feeling BEings on this planet???….especially the sexual part. For me I have high standards, high expectations, high morals and I guess I TRUST too much. I don’t comprehend how that is humanly possible, I expect that everyone thinks LIKE ME and is working on BEing the best HUMAN possible…then there is the element of magic and BElieving in all possibilities…BElieving that all I’ve ever asked for out of life, feeling like everything I’ve been asking for is starting to unfold, at times LIFE is starting to FEEL like MY FANTASY

Those thoughts were so last month…In the past month I’ve finally connected with someone who feels a lot like I do. Before we had a face to face meeting, he wrote to me that he could be grounding in so many ways. We have many of the same thoughts on so many levels and have decided that this is a three-month trial.

Although his view of the world is more linear, he appears to honor my lateral mind…he likes to tell me what is as I interject my WHAT IF’s… How long have I been praying for support in BEing the BEST HUMAN possible? At my request he e-mailed me a few pages of his profile content from assorted dating sites he’s been on…he’s been looking for a like-minded partner for a long time. He’s funny and always looking for the greater good, one of his entries was that he wanted to BE the BEST HUMAN possible…hmm where have I heard that before?

How long have I BEen praying for someone in my life to share the same DREAMs? I’m currently researching prices for welding tools, he doesn’t just want learn how to make the product, he wants to manage the company…all the crap I don’t want to do alone…it isn’t a business that I wanted to resurrect but thinking back over the past 15 months I’ve had 3 people mention it. It has to have BEen between 12 and 15 years since I’ve done it. The last person was a woman I used to sell the product to; I ran into her at the bank this summer, she asked me if I’m still making them and said to let her know if I decided to start again, she would carry them in her store. Life is changing in oh so many ways…WHAT NEXT?

What if my life does become the polar opposite of what I walked away from? That feels like a scary thing to me and I need to FOCUS, FOCUS, FOCUS on what’s presenting itself.

This new huMAN is concerned about my health and eating habits…haven’t I BEen asking for someone to help ME with my diet? He cooks for me, we eat a lot…only organic, non gmo and mostly plant-based. We take hikes a few times a week, he encouraged me to get on a scale and weigh myself…it’s been over 5 years since I’ve done that…after 10 days I’ve lost 2.5 lbs.

How long have I BEen asking for a stylist? I’ve stopped wearing a lot of makeup, he thinks I look better without it and I’m getting used to SEEing the real ME… I’m not uncomfortable BEing noticed so much anymore, I’m starting to like the look of ME au natural.

WE are making future plans RESURRECTing this old endeavor of mine that I never thought about doing again…funny that my first sale will probably be in the town that the ex lives in….wouldn’t that be the perfect place to BE SEEn? Wouldn’t it BE a PERFECT show of what MY LIFE can BE when I AM FULLY SUPPORTED in BEing the BEST HUMAN POSSIBLE? I see Brooklyn coming into my life right now as divine intervention….I think he does also…I told him we should take an overnight road trip and sleep under the stars soon. He thought it should be during the next celestial event:

ME: I LOVE celestial events

BROOKLYN: Baby, YOU ARE a celestial event…

How does life get any better than this?