I AM RIGHT

Loneliness often feels like we have been graded and found wanting. It feels like a suffocating prison to which we do not hold the key. When we experience loneliness, we often experience it as a form of rejection. Sometimes it feels like we are in a different place from everyone else, and so we feel the loneliness of our difference. Our inability to find or share common ground can give rise to feelings of loneliness.

Highly sensitive people have much to give in a world that often does not want to what we have to offer. Our hearts are so big but they are often big by themselves. It can feel like you are out on a limb in a world that want to chop it down at any moment. Very risky! Yet you cannot do otherwise, because you would then be betraying yourself. So you therefore carry the torch even if no one can see it, even when you feel foolish, hoping that at some point the world will stop long enough to see that there is no them, and that then you will no be lonely any more. ~Maria Hill

Feeling very vulnerable today…I know it’s about not being financially stable in the “real” world. I know it’s about not being comfortable expressing my magical thinking with others. Yesterday it was Brooklyn…maybe he’s the one that needs to see. See what? That my life can change in an instant? That it’s possible to see more than one dream at a time??? That it’s possible to start something from nothing?

We went for a hike to the Hassayampa river yesterday, his behavior was different than the times we went when we were a couple. He even went to the rock by the little waterfall I always sit at. The river flows through the Burg, the place I tried to get out of for years. The first time we walked there, I imagined myself dumping all my sorrows in that water and hoping they reached the hearts of others I felt alienated by.

This time it was different, as I sat on my rock I imagined that the water flow was carrying all my LOVE to that little town and setting the intention that it was helping to heal the HEARTS of those I felt ignored and abandoned by…I need to take responsibility for this feeling. IT was neither of us that were wrong and if I knew who I was at that time, I’m sure life would have been easier but I didn’t know, and life was hard…now I know better. IT IS the fact that WE never learned how to communicate with each other, WE WEre never taught to LOVE ourselves UNCONDITIONALLY. I KNOW I AM RIGHT on this one…

Dear G,

Sorry for the delay in responding…
I’m still learning how it relates to me personally. Most sensitives have felt like aliens all their lives, I just found out about it 4 years ago and there wasn’t a lot of information at that time. Now there is a plethora of information and online support groups.
I have a very complex inner world and see things others can’t or just don’t want to (manipulation, control, self destructive behaviors, etc). All my life I’ve been told I’m wrong so it was quite a revelation to realize there wasn’t anything wrong with me, I just perceive the world different from others.

Lila

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3 thoughts on “I AM RIGHT

  1. I totally relate to this. Wow. The part about us Betraying ourselves if we do otherwise is spot on for how I feel a lot of the time. I’ve learned to accept the feeling that comes with it, be true to myself, and get back to my state of peace as much as possible.
    Great post. Thanks for sharing.

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