This morning I woke up to a song…what was it again? Maybe it was from The Band…for the last few hours the only words in my head are from the chorus from The Weight.
The wake-up words were about a boy who’s mother left when he was young; of course, my mind goes back to Brooklyn. The past few days thoughts about him are empty, the connection with him has become a distant memory, almost like it never existed in the first place.
Today marks four days on the farm, so far, it’s been great, hopefully this morning we will sit down and discuss a plan. My job has been to deep clean; my choice as they don’t expect me to do anything specific, I’m kind of on my own and finding my own value here. I decided I will keep cleaning and figure out a rhythm, figure out rules, regulations, and safety guidelines to suggest we start implementing. Hopefully today I will have the official title of, Fairy Godmother.
I do want to be a part of this experience, but I really don’t feel like I have a lot to offer other than building some parameters and structures. For some reason my creative process feels like it’s been castrated and although my old ideas could be implemented here I don’t feel it happening yet. Yesterday I finally came up with a couple creative ideas and I realized this is Alice’s place, she is the First Mate managing this ship and has great visions and dreams, I’m just one of her arms. I’m happy she liked my idea about her junk yard; The Captain seemed amused when I told him I had been shopping at Alice’s…Alice appears to like my idea about a picture for the blog we will be putting together and the name, “Shopping at Alice’s”…although one idea isn’t doable, she elaborated on another and took it way beyond what I imagined, I think she likes the contrast.
The other evening I heard Captain Cook say to her, “it’s like a well-oiled machine”, not perfectly but it is getting there and she has been working hard. It’s taken a couple days to figure this out but I think part of the emptiness I’m feeling right now is the not knowing and still feeling ungrounded. For today this is a positive step working towards the dream…
Take a load off, Fanny
Take a load for free
Take a load off, Fanny
And put the load right on me…
Why are those words stuck in my head? What was the song and the words that woke me up this morning?